Hello, I'm Dr. Chidi, maker of Hush Candles and founder of Hush Candles Co.
Welcome to the first blog post for My Wellness Journey. I share my story to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles. I share my story to break the cycle of repeated mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.
Let's start at the very beginning. If you had asked me five years ago about my childhood, I would have boasted that I had a perfect childhood. Well, until recently, I thought that I had a perfect childhood. Afterall, I was not abused sexually, I was not homeless or chronically ill. Heck, I was born in the USA, now living a comfortable life in Nigeria with two parents who loved me very much, siblings, maids, drivers, and all the fresh food that a tropical climate offers.
But like most adults, I came to realize that your childhood sucked just like everybody else's.
Only recently did I recognize the true state of my past. Don't worry, this is good news because it is only when you know your past that you can step into your ideal future.
My parents did a great job raising my siblings and I. They sacrificed and gave us the best opportunities to survive. They raised us with high moral standards and gave us a great educational background that propelled all of us to be literally leaders in our various fields. They sheltered us and fed us and wished us the best. So, the fact that my childhood still sucked did not seem like a plausible idea.
Raised by the African community, like communities in Asia, failure was never an option. This kind of pressure breeds performance based love triangles between parent, child, and achievements. I feel loved when I perform but I am unloved if I choose an unpopular route.
This programming sipped into my adulthood, leeching into the fabric of my decision making skills. I used these principles to choose a career and to find relationships. In the end, it did not serve me well.
It was difficult at first to pinpoint what could have derailed such a successful life, but choices made based on other people's desires never bring long lasting joy.
Let us agree that I did not have the worst childhood. But the act of acknowledging that it wasn't perfect has helped me accept that I had work to do on myself. In order to create a better future, I needed to understand my past and see it for what it truly was. Good or bad, it was mine and mine to correct if need be.
Did you also recently realize that your childhood wasn't as grand as you had thought it was? How has this realization changed your outlook on your current state, if at all? Leave your comments below.
Photo by Samuel Adjepong : https://www.pexels.com/photo/cute-little-girl-standing-on-green-grass-13931159/